Braving selflove

braving selflove

This will be the last drawing based on The Anatomy of Trust, by Dr.Brené Brown. In this talk she introduces the acronym B.R.A.V.I.N.G. (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non Judgement, Generosity) with which she is revealing what she calls ‘The Anatomy of Trust’.

(from the talk:)
“In our struggle we not only have a sense of loss of trust in others but a loss of self-trust. When something hard happens we say: I can’t trust myself, I was so stupid, so naive.”
Brené says when she went through a hard failure recently she had to ask herself:
Did I honour my own boundaries?
Was I reliable, can I count on myself?
Did I hold myself accountable?
Was I really protective of my stories
Did I stay in my integrity
Was I judgmental towards myself
Did I give myself the benefit of the doubt, was I generous towards myself?
If braving relationships = braving connection, self-trust = braving self-love
you can’t ask other people to give to you, what you don’t have
Example: I can’t expect other people to respect my boundaries if I don’t know how to honour them myself.

What I take away form this is that self-trust can only be solid when we establish self-love. When I feel worthy of receiving good things (love, care, health, friends etc.) there is self-love. I can’t ask for something if I do not think I am worthy of receiving it.

I kept thinking about how I often feel low about myself and how prayer is so helpful as a type of affirmation. As a Muslimah I am obliged to pray 5 times a day, and during those 5 moments in the day I have a chance to reconnect with the divine and reset my focus, asking Allah (God) for his blessings, asking God anything I need: more strength, emotional healing, long life with my family, more name it. If I didn’t think I was worthy of receiving any of this, I would not make the time to ask. And being obliged to ask for good things 5 times a day  (for forgiveness, for a blessed life etc.) really helps when you are down and out.

About the drawing (below are sketches)

(I used the same text that I used for my first drawing, because I found it the most suiting for the topic of Selflove/trust)

I intentionally drew a male figure this time, because I tend to draw from my own perspective as a woman and I did not want to exclude men. Also I used a red background because I didn’t want to show a particular skin tone, this way I thought it would be more inclusive. I decided to draw someone holding their hand above their heart, as a metaphor for “listening to your heart”. In the background there are lot’s of people (imagined or real) shouting their opinions, but the person in the middle is centered and connected to their heart (the portal to the Divine).

Thank you for your support, be well and God bless

2 thoughts on “Braving selflove

  1. Hi. I just recently heard of Brenes explanation of trust. However, I‘m german and even though my english is fairly good, I have a problem with understanding the meaning of the Word ‚Braving‘. No translation I found online made any sense in that context. Would you pls explain to me what she means by saying:

    If braving relationships with Other people is beaving connection….

    I have the feeling its rather impotant to understand what she means by this.

    I‘d highly appreciate your help.

    Thanks and all the best,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Claudia, I’m sorry for seeing your message just now.

      The word Braving is not an existing word in the dictionary but the acronym B.R.A.V.I.N.G which Dr. Brown created to explain the anatomy of trust. I understand ‘Braving’ as: being brave, but with the correct understanding of how trust is built. We can only truly be brave by understanding ourselves and trusting ourselves.

      So I understand ‘Braving’ as being brave, but not blindly.

      However that’s just my view, maybe Dr. Brown would answer it differently.

      Hope it helped and thanks so much for getting in touch.


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